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Your finest choice for funny comments on shirts, funny t-shirts, weird tshirts, literary shirts, college humor, humorous funny signs, funny pictures, hilarious graphics, and funny words on t shirts. Our funny pictures and hilarious practical joke signs have made Absolute Cotton a top choice for lovers of original humor. As always, shop with confidence knowing every custom tee shirt purchase arrives at your door 100% satisfaction guaranteed!
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A purchase from the collection of unique and unusual gifts and apparel at Absolute Cotton makes the perfect quirky statement of individuality.

Canadians for Global Warming
Canadians for Global Warming

Finally - A funny tshirt design for Canadians... one that you'll soon be able to wear! In Canada!
I was born this way
I was born this way

Express your ultimate hotness... or geekiness - whichever the case may be.
Go Fork Yourself
Go Fork Yourself

Some people need a visual aid... Great on barbecue aprons!
Sex, drugs, and duct tape.
Sex, drugs, and duct tape.

Sex. Drugs. Duct tape. A funny shirt with loads of witty attitude!
I played dumb and won
I played dumb and won

If you're gonna play, play it to win.

"Yes, Dear."

One simple (life) sentence.
Charlotte's Web of Lies
Charlotte's Web of Lies

Forget E.B. White - You can't trust a spider.
I used to have an open mind
I used to have an open mind

I used to have an open mind, but my brain fell out.
Funny Jesus Fish
Funny Jesus Fish

Why the religious right is so uptight
Stupendous
Stupendous

I'm with stupendous.
Antichrist T-Shirt
Antichrist T-Shirt

It's an antichrist shirt. It's an unclechrist shirt. It's a funny tshirt for everyone who loves to laugh! The end is nigh - go out in style.
Bitches Love Me
Bitches Love Me

Bitches Love Me, Dog.
Water Bad.  Beer Good. Drinking shirt
Water Bad. Beer Good. Drinking shirt

When drunks write hieroglyphs, the result is a drinking shirt that hasn't gone out of style for thousands of years.
Don't Touch the Precious Paperclip
Don't Touch the Precious Paperclip

We're not exactly sure what the designer was thinking. It's not even a pretty paperclip.
The (Get) Lucky Shirt
The (Get) Lucky Shirt

Certain to get your counterpart thinking about romance.
Old People for Global Warming
Old People for Global Warming

Screw the future... We're cold NOW!
See More Funny Doggie Tshirts
See More Funny Doggie Tshirts

Some jokes are only funny when a dog tells them.
It's so hot jokes
It's so hot jokes

It's so hot, you need a t-shirt.
plz stop texting me
plz stop texting me

The classic "your momma" joke, with a cellular twist.
I (screw) my blank
I (screw) my blank

It's a screw, and it's a sticker, and it fits nicely over a heart on an ordinary bumper sticker - such as "I (heart) my dog." Use your imagination.
Human Skull - Have a nice Day
Human Skull - Have a nice Day

Our human skull and black roses, with the caption - Have A Nice Day. Artwork and lettering are pixelated and distressed for a natural, worn look.
go to hell
go to hell

Online dating got you down? Does cybersex leave you limp? Tell the world to go.tohell
Days of the week underwear
Days of the week underwear

Our take on the "days of the week underwear" popular long ago. Our modern twist? We've made them funny, and we've put them on sexy thongs.
White Skull
White Skull

A human skull in bright paint, set on a classic dark t-shit - the perfect simple goth statement of horror. Looks eerie in black light.
Weird
Weird

Weird logo
It's only a forking shirt
It's only a forking shirt

... and it's as weird as you are.
Bionic Turkey
Bionic Turkey

The Bionic Man draws a turkey.
God's Billboard
God's Billboard

If the big kahuna really said it, do you think anyone would listen?

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